Today is a day of deep reflection for me. 28 years ago today my mom, Liddy, passed away. She was an abundance of love and light. For those of us who have lost our mothers when we were young, we suddenly find ourselves traveling through life without the support and guidance we once took for granted. At 19, I found myself trying to figure out how to do life on my own, but I was lost for many years and didn’t know how to mother myself. I experienced depression and ran from my grief and pain.
Now it is clear to me that my mother’s death was a great awakener that created my passion and purpose in life. Once I allowed the painful and devastating feelings to be fully felt, I accepted them. I was then able to say “yes” to them in full acceptance, and I came to a surprising clarity and freedom. Compassion came rushing in, and my capacity widened for the human struggle we all face. I felt called to help people say goodbye to their dying children and loved ones. To be a bridge during these sacred transitions. After witnessing many people dying, I connected to the fortunate gifts we get when we reverently face death. It is truly our greatest teacher. We get in touch with what we value most. But we don’t need to wait till our death bed. We have the opportunity each day to inquire within and live from the space of our deepest value.
What are you grateful for?
I remember one day during a meditation with @davidjimeditation he asked, “what are you grateful for?” and I was shook by what clearly came to my mind: “my mother’s death.” Something I had formerly resisted was now on my gratitude list! I began bowing to this image of my mom holding me and saying thank you mom for your death because it has created so much love, connection, compassion and healing. This may sound bizarre but I could not deny the truth and beauty that was created. It was clearly our contract in this life. Through gratitude I feel her holding and guiding me from within. I feel an eternal connection that is internal. I know that my deepest value is CONNECTION. My mom continues to teach me, and I devote my life to continue to honor her death by helping others on the path. With deep reverence to my mom, Liddy: I know you walk with me every day, just not in physical form. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
And for those of you who are suffering, don’t give up. Reach out, reach in. There is an abundance of love on the other side of the pain you feel. I promise.