29 years today
I often say the wound is the way. My mother was my first awakener into the depth and range of the heart's shadows and lights we can experience in our human existence. I remember the exact moment I was told “Mom just died.” It was 3:30 am 8/14/94.
These moments stay with you… All the little details of that moment in time. The Rose Bowl t-shirt I was wearing was one I treasured for years to come, as if it kept me connected to a time when she was still here. These moments leave marks on your heart, what we do with them is up to us…
This is why I say the wound is the way. The wound is not solely dark and painful, once lovingly embraced you receive its gold: light, understanding and wisdom. The pain of the loss of my mother created a path of abundant purpose in my life. I see that clearly. Embracing her loss and helping others traverse what pain and fear they face feels as though it is fulfilling a sacred contract I made with her long ago. I am grateful for all of it. I am grateful for her heart which continues to guide me from beyond.
If you struggle with loss, know that healing is possible. There is a path. Letting go is possible. It actually is the path to freedom.
Holding on tightly felt like it kept me safe and connected but it actually just left me a captive to the past unable to see the path of possibility life was providing for me. It takes courage yes. Courage is the ability to be with the pain in the heart. The mind must be released, it cannot lead you to peace. Whatever challenges you face today or from the past, place your hand on your heart breathe from this space and simply repeat I trust I trust I trust. The heart knows the way.
Thank you Mom for continuing to be my guide.
I love you